NF and mgk, both heavyweights in the hip-hop scene with massive cult followings, finally collaborated on a song after years of fan requests. “WHO I WAS” appears on NF’s latest body of work, "Fear," which dropped on November 14th.
The song opens with mgk’s verse. It feels frantic and raw. He recorded all sixteen bars in one take, and they kept the first version. He bleeds into the microphone, sharing decades of trauma. He describes being lost while driving a rental car with his father’s ashes spilled out in the back, scattered like his heart, and this chaos being a metaphor for all he’s learned.
The biggest lie told is that no one should be concerned.
The most powerful moment follows as he describes returning to faith:
I hid from God for more than two decades of life
And when I came back to the light, he didn't ask me if I'm Christian still
Just opened up his arms and embraced me like I'm his son
This verse being present in the song will come as no surprise to those who know NF and understand his recurring themes around his faith.
I left everything behind, but this engagement ring and a frozen heart
I'm standin' in the fire to melt all that
NF’s verse delivery that follows is the opposite: careful and precise. He begins by diving headfirst into generational trauma and emotional regulation:
Lash out, need to take a breath and calm down / Try to regulate, don't know how / Wasn't taught that in my house
NF is a notorious perfectionist, yet he deliberately leaves “mistakes” in the final production, such as mgk asking for the vocals to be turned up, or NF saying, “I know I messed that part up.”
He closes his verse with even more vulnerability, admitting:
Kids of my own, I step back / Look at those smiles and feel sad / Hope they don't wind up like Dad / Stuck in this loop like I am, I-
The shared hook (”Ash and dust / Everything I care about enough / Burning up / Nothing left of who I was”) is simple, but enough. The production is minimalist and built solely around an acoustic guitar, truly leaving the lyrics nowhere to hide.
This is truly a shared therapy session, reminding us that the only way to move past who you were is to admit exactly where you are.
